This year I read “Fresh Wind Fresh Fire” for the third time in 25 years. It’s interesting how things hit you differently after that long. I think the first two times I read it I was impressed by how pivotal prayer is to the life of a church because I’ve never been part of a church body that invested so much into prayer. The other thing that captured my attention was how God responded to their prayers by using these people so mightily. I wanted to be used by God, and I still pray for the church here in the US to be so driven to pray together for God’s will in their lives, their families and in their communities.

The big moment for me during this read was when Jim Cymbala recounts ministering to his congregation after a woman shared her testimony on an Easter Sunday. He said the number of people who came forward was staggering, and after a couple of hours he was just tired. It was then that he was approached by a man who smelled repulsively of alcohol, garbage, and his own urine. Jim said he was used to “that kind” of person just wanting a hand out, and so in resignation he reached a hand into his pocket, but the man stopped him and told him, “No, stop, you don’t understand! I’m going to die out there. I want what that woman has. I want this Jesus.” Jim said about that time, the man fell into his arms, but the stench that had repulsed him a moment earlier was no longer a deterrent. Instead, it smelled almost sweet. Isn’t this who Jesus came for? He said he didn’t come for those who were well but for those who needed a doctor; he didn’t come to call the righteous but the sinners to repentance (my paraphrase, Luke 5:31-32).

All I could think was, I want that kind of patience. You know, there are always “those people” who are harder for some to love on. They try your patience and yet their need for a mentor is real. And when it’s hard to handle the pressure of how much discernment and investment it takes to disciple them, it’s our own immaturity that is at the root of our cop outs. When we really take the time to see them and let God show us what it is in us that needs healing so that we aren’t rubbed the wrong way, the reward is great for them and for us.

So I asked for it. More patience with people. To not be put off or offended by what is normally considered repulsive, but to be able to meet them where they are the way Jesus does. And then I really needed to confess to my husband because I ought to expect to be changed, and I wanted to warn him before he starts wondering what gives. So when I was helping him at camp, in the slow moments before serving dinner to our guests, we stood across the kitchen isle from one another, and I blurted out, “I asked God to give me a greater portion of patience.”

His eyes got wide and he looked like he was going to jump across the butcher block between us, determined for me to stop speaking. “Are you crazy?” he gasped, “Why would you do that?”

I took a step backward, and raised my hand to try to keep space between us because when all else fails, my husband knows giving me a bear hug can sweetly bully a change in the flow of the conversation. But I felt desperate for him to hear me. “You don’t understand,” I told him. “I’m serious, and I’m not crazy. We’ve been lied to!”

Okay, friends, what comes to your mind when someone suggests praying for patience? Maybe you haven’t heard, but the rumor I have heard since I hit adulthood and have been involved in any kind of ministry is that you never ask for patience. They say God doesn’t give you patience; He teaches you patience. Therefore, asking for it is just asking for a trial, though I don’t remember reading in the Bible that Job asked for patience. I do think he was a very patient man.

I can be impulsive, but not usually. Usually I am a thinker and a researcher, and by the time I ask God for something big, He has been priming me for it for a long time. That’s why I say we’ve been lied to about patience, and I’d like to share with you how that is.

If you search the lexicon for the New Testament word patience in the Bible, you will find two main root words which are interpreted as patience. The first word is hypomonē, and it means steadfastness, constancy, endurance.

“Therefore, since we have so great a cloud of witnesses surrounding us, let us also lay aside every encumbrance and the sin which so easily entangles us, and let us run with hypomonē (endurance, perseverance, patience) the race that is set before us…” Hebrews 12:1

This patience, hypomonē, is a patience with our circumstances. In many ways, this is an endurance that develops with maturity. Endurance is developed through training. The longer we train, the stronger we become. This is the patience that people murmur about having to learn. In my experience, it is not the actual training that people find so discouraging but the proving. What I mean by that is that we have an enemy who doesn’t want us to keep our eyes on the goal. Satan doesn’t want us to stay faithful to the end, and so he will do whatever he can to discourage, distract, and derail our progress. This is where the trial lays. I shared about how we often misinterpret the word trial and the difference between difficult circumstances and temptation in this post.

The second word for patience is makrothymia, and it means longsuffering, forbearance, or fortitude. This is the word that we find in Galations 5:22 that tells us that the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness… (verse 23~gentleness, self-control).

“So, as those who have been chosen of God, holy and beloved, put on a heart of compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and makrothymia (patience, forbearance, fortitude), bearing with one another and forgiving each other, whoever has a complaint against anyone; just as the Lord forgave you, so also should you.” Colossians 3:12-13

This patience, makrothymia, is a patience with other people. It is the patience God has to wait for all who will repent and be saved. It is God’s character, described as fruit of the Spirit, and God freely lavishes this upon us as we are willing to receive it and be changed from the inside out. It is the birthright of every Christian.

I used to pray on a daily basis that God would help me be patient with my children. I didn’t want to only act patient on the outside while struggling with self control on the inside. I wanted to truly be patient with them, without all the effort~ to be Christ-like in attitude and in action. One day I asked God why, after so many years, I was still having to pray the same thing. He startled me by actually answering me. He said, “Stop asking me to help you and ask me to change your heart.” When I asked Him to change me, He did. I was afraid it would be a painful process, but instead I noticed that my perspective changed, I developed more of a sense of humor, I became more thankful, and I just wasn’t bothered by as many things as used to wear me down and make me feel frustrated. God gave me His patience with my children, His forbearance and fortitude. I did not learn this patience from trial. I understood it through His example, and I knew to copy Him, but I could only consistently walk it out through His Spirit. It was a free gift that He wanted me to understand and humble myself to ask for. My perspective on the fruit of the Spirit is forever changed. I try not to ask God to “help me be” a certain way anymore. I ask Him how He wants me to be and I ask Him to change my heart to bring my beliefs and attitudes into alignment with His truth and His will for me. He is so good to teach me and change me. It is only ever painful when I resist.

There are so many myths floating about the church that we need to identify and change our mindset about. Satan will come against us when we desire to be Christ-like. He wants us to believe that humbling ourselves to ask God to work in our hearts to produce greater patience will result in suffering. The truth is that if we do not submit to God’s will for our hearts and lives, we will never grow into the people He designed us to be and we will suffer. When we gain maturity, life is actually easier to navigate, people are easier to love, and joy is more tangible. The full life (John 10:10). We need a greater portion of God’s character in order to serve in unity as a church, to recognize and meet the needs of our communities, and grow the church.

This is where revival starts. We need to repent for not asking for God to grow more of His character in us. And we do need to start some serious training… but more on that topic later.

Image by Astrid Schaffner from Pixabay