Growing in the Fruit of Peace

Several years ago, I read Elizabeth George’s book, “Loving God with all Your Mind.”  It was the first time I had read her work, and I was intrigued with the title.  It wasn’t the easiest read.  I had to take it in small bites, and it took me several months, but it was so worth the effort.

Growing in the Fruit of Peace

I had no idea how God was going to use that little book in my life in a very short while.  Ms. George shared about a period of time during which she had struggled with depression, and how loving God with her mind pulled her out of darkness and into precious hope.  Unknown to me, our own young daughter was developing serious anxiety, and it was this knowledge of how to love God with abandon, giving up our rights to worry, that provided a life line to pull our daughter back.

It is still fresh to me.  I cannot hold back the tears as I share this with you, but they are tears of thankfulness as I can tell you with full confidence that even in times of struggle, because struggle we all must, God is so very very good.

As Elizabeth George shared in her book, “A Woman’s Walk with God, Growing in the Fruit of the Spirit,”   Peace is the sacrifice of trust.

Ms. George points out that Peace is:

  • not a result of our worldly circumstances, but in the assurance that we have a right relationship with God.
  • not affected by daily challenges, but remains in the knowledge that our times are in God’s hands.
  • is not dependent on the conditions of our life, but upon knowing that God is all-sufficient.  He will supply our every need, according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus. Phil. 4:19
  • It is “an inward repose and serenity of soul that indicates a heart at rest–regardless of our circumstances–as we place complete confidence in God minute by minute.”  He is continuously with us.  Psalm 139:7-12

Trusting God

Several years ago I met a Christian woman and song writer when she and her husband answered a Craig’s List ad and came to see the van we had for sale.  She and I ended up spending quite a bit of time visiting, and we stayed in touch through email for a long time after.  She asked me to be praying for their family, as her daughter was making what they felt were foolish choices, so I prayed.

Some months later she sent me an update.  “I had a dream,” she told me.  She and her husband were rowing frantically in a small boat with their daughter, as a storm blew and crashed upon them.  “But then,” she said, “it was like a camera in a movie panned back, and I could see that we were actually rowing inside a fish bowl.”  The bowl was being carried by the hands of God himself, and it was this very act–being carried–that caused the waves that they were struggling to row against.  Just knowing that God was in it brought her peace.

If God is carrying your boat, He is taking you to a better place.

You have to believe that.

You have to have confidence that He will not waste an iota of your struggle.  He will use it to draw you deeper with Him, to grow your faith, and open eyes to His glory.

If God is carrying your boat

Hes taking you to a better place

The word God uses for peace also means rest and tranquility~”of Christianity, the tranquil state of a soul assured of its salvation through Christ, and so fearing nothing from God and content with its earthly lot, of whatsoever sort that is.”`

“Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ.” Romans 5:1

Just like joy, and all 9 of the fruit of the Spirit, our peace is positional.  Because of Jesus’s work on the cross we have peace with God.  We are no longer enemies of God.  We are His beloved children.  Because of this, we can rely on all God’s promises, and we can be content in any and every circumstance.

The Secret to Experiencing Peace

In Philippians chapter 4, Paul tells us the secret to experiencing God’s peace.  We also continue to see how all 9 of the Fruit of the Spirit are to be present in a believer’s life, and are interdependent.

Rejoice in the Lord always; again I will say, rejoice!  Let your gentle spirit be known to all men. The Lord is near. Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all comprehension, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.” verses 4-7

Did you catch that?  Loving God with all our hearts involves making the conscious choice not to wallow in unfavorable circumstances, but rather, to rejoice in the Lord.  Choose not to be anxious, but instead pray and tell God what you need, trusting in His ability and His desire to meet those needs.

Finally, brethren, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is of good repute, if there is any excellence and if anything worthy of praise, dwell on these things.” verse 8

Loving God with all our minds involves meditating on the right things.  How often does anxiety overtake us because we allow ourselves to dwell on the “what if’s”?  My daughter will tell you it is a slippery slope, once you allow yourself to visit there.  What about the “if only’s”?  How often do we lose our focus and take a ride on an emotional roller coaster because, like Lots wife, we look back longingly on the the past that is behind us, or allow the present opportunities to slip through our fingers because we’re dwelling on unrealistic hopes for the future?

All these things: the what if’s, the if only’s, the past, and the future are not “whatever is true.”  The past was true in it’s time, and the future is unknown to us.  Dwelling on them will not provide peace, but is likely to steal it away.

What we do know is that God has plans for us right now today.  He promises to work all things together for good for those who love Him.  And He wants us to trust Him with all our hearts, leaning on His understanding, acknowledging Him (rejoicing in Him and trusting Him!) and He promises to make our paths straight… Proverbs 3:5,6

He has your back, no matter what storm you encounter.  He is the one carrying your boat.

 The things you have learned and received and heard and seen in me, practice these things, and the God of peace will be with you.” verse 9

Paul is always saying that, isn’t he?  Follow my example because I’m following God, and God will be with you!

…for I have learned to be content in whatever circumstances I am. I know how to get along with humble means, and I also know how to live in prosperity; in any and every circumstance I have learned the secret of being filled and going hungry, both of having abundance and suffering need.  I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.” verses 11-13

We quote that last part a lot, don’t we?  “I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”  Many times, we take it out of context.

Paul said he knew how to be content in ANY circumstance.  He knew how to get along with little, and he knew how to live with much.  The secret of being filled and going hungry… having an abundance and suffering in need!

How did he do it?  How did he go on through poverty, being stoned, being the recipient of hate talk, being ship wrecked, living under house arrest for many years, and eventually losing his life for the sake of Christ?  All the while, he remained content.  He knew God’s peace.

“I can do all things through Him who strengthens me.”  Paul didn’t have to experience anxiety or worry, doubt or discouragement.  Jesus would empower him to stand firm through anything while experiencing contentment, and we can have this same confidence, because as verse 19 tells us,

And my God will supply all your needs according to His riches in glory in Christ Jesus.”

Sometimes we experience wonderful peace in our own storms, but watching our loved ones struggle, that can be harder.  Giving them to God can be a greater exercise in trust, and we need to hold our loved ones with open hands.  God loves them more than we do, and His plans for them are every bit as wonderful and good as the plans we know He has for us.

When our daughter was struggling the most, we did some practical things to help her.  I was able to provide her with Bach Flowers that were helpful for her emotional state.

We used accupressure to help remove the strain that the anxiety placed on her body, and in return, her anxiety was lessened.

But more than anything else, she memorized scripture, taped it up all around her bed, and recited it whenever she felt the temptation to allow her thoughts to go where she knew they shouldn’t.  Instead she reminded herself to love God with her mind and meditate on His truth.    

She continued to rejoice in the Lord, recording the good gifts He has placed in her life in her special notebook… 3 things she’s thankful for each day, and the record is well into the thousands today.

We talked about what God says is true, honorable, right, pure, lovely, of good repute, excellent, and worthy of praise!

And we prayed, often, asking God to give her His peace.

Our daughter still sometimes experiences worry, but it is temporary because she knows where to go, and instead of being paralyzed by anxiety, she is freed by trust.  It was hard to understand, when we were in that difficult place with her, why she was going through that storm, but when I hear her talk about it today I believe God will someday use her to lead others to peace.  She is uniquely equipped to show true understanding and compassion to others.  God won’t waste her pain, and He won’t waste yours… He will bring it to good.

Praise God for giving us so many reasons to trust in Him, and for making contentment in any circumstance possible!

“Be strong and courageous, do not be afraid or tremble at them, for the Lord your God is the one who goes with you.  He will not leave (fail) you or forsake you.” Deuteronomy 31:6

“The Lord is my helper, I will not be afraid. What will man do to me?” Hebrews 13:5-6

“For I know the plans that I have for you’, declares the Lord, ‘plans for welfare and not for calamity to give you a future and a hope’”  Jeremiah 29:11   God had just caused His people to be carried into Babylon for 70 of exile.  They were looking for deliverance and He told them to build houses and have families and make a life there—they were being disciplined for their good.

God is good.  His love for us endures forever.  He is faithful.  And not a single thing that will ever happen to us isn’t filtered through His loving hands first.  And everything that he allows, even the tough love, is for our ultimate good and for God’s glory.

Psalm 136 is the all about Giving Thanks to God.  “Give thanks to the Lord, for He is good, For his lovingkindness is everlasting.  {His love endures forever.}

“And we know that God causes all things to work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28

“Who will separate us from the love of Christ? Will tribulation, or distress, or persecution, or famine, or nakedness, or peril, or sword?  Just as it is written, “For your sake we are being put to death all day long; We were considered as sheep to be slaughtered.”  But in all these things we overwhelmingly conquer through Him who loved us.  For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:35-39


More Power in Prayer, Prerequisite #2 for Effective Prayer

More Power in Prayer, Prerequisite 2

When I was in charge of coordinating the Women’s Events at Camp JIM, I once booked a speaker to share at a retreat on the subject of Forgiving.  The speaker had several talks she had prepared for events and she told me, in all the years she had been traveling, I was the first to ask her to use this seminar.


When the topic is the heart warming reminder of our own forgiveness, we’re all over it; but, no one wanted to trudge through a weekend of emotional sludge to let go of their own grievances.  Ouch.

However, we can’t afford not to.  Forgiveness is a prerequisite to to more powerful, effective prayer.

There are several occasions in the New Testament when God promises to hold us to our own standards.  In Matthew 6:12, Jesus is teaching His disciples how to pray,

“And forgive us our sins, just as we have forgiven those who have sinned against us.” TLB

The King James Version says, “forgive us our debts as we have forgiven our debtors.”  We all know a debt is something we owe, but did you know that debt, offence and sin can be used interchangeably?  It changes our perspective, doesn’t it?

Do we want to be forgiven “as” (in the same way) we have forgiven others?

Mark 11:24-25 says it even more clearly:

“Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.  And whenever you stand praying, forgive, if you have anything against anyone, so that your Father also who is in heaven may forgive you your trespasses.”

God wants us to pray for one another in intercessory prayer.

And we’ve learned that if we want God to hear our prayers, we have to confess all known sins, and seek His forgiveness.  But these verses take that even further by saying that we also need to forgive anyone against whom we are holding a grievance.

Isn’t it easy to hold a grievance?  Without even realizing it, we can nurse it along, holding onto it like an old friend.  It becomes a part of who we are and we may not even realize we’ve developed a critical spirit toward that person who hurt us.

God says forgive.

It is a required of us in order for God to listen to our prayers.

Many years ago, on a Good Friday, tragedy snuck into our family unannounced.  On Saturday my husband took me to see “Passion of the Christ” in the dollar theater in his home town.  Ugh.  I have never been so torn by a movie.  Christ’s suffering was so large on that screen, I know I was swollen and blotchy and pathetic when we came out of the theater and into the light.  I was burdened afresh with the opportunity to meditate on the message of Easter, that Christ’s passion was to save me. It was my sin that brought Him all that pain, but I could rejoice because He is risen and I am forgiven.

The testing came Easter Sunday, when the silent offence came screaming into the light and tore the cover right off my heart.  You know those movies that show a person in shock, experiencing the moment in slow motion, and every sense is cranked up to high?  Too many individuals were affected for me to share the details.  Suffice it to say, no grievance against oneself ever comes close to the pain you enter into when the grievance is against your child.

When the weekend had ended, my heart finally quieted, and my eyes ran dry.  I’m sure God orchestrated our weekend so that I would watch that movie at that exact time.  I knew the choice I faced was no choice at all.

No matter how grieved I was by this offence, a perfect God was more offended, and yet Jesus died to forgive that person who grieved our family.  He died once and for all, for all people, just as much as He died to forgive me.  He loves us all the same.  So how could I refuse to forgive?

How dare I refuse to forgive?

Isn’t that what it boils down to?  The parable of the unforgiving servant in Matthew 18:21-35 depicts it perfectly.

So we make the choice to forgive.

We don’t wait until we feel like it.  Emotions are fickle, and we could wait an eternity without ever “feeling like forgiving”.  Make the choice, even if it means choosing daily.  Healing is a process.

But now comes the awkward, and how do we act when we encounter this person again?

This is where the rubber meets the road.

In her book, “What Happens When Women Pray?” Evelyn Christenson shares that once we commit to forgive, God expects us to illustrate follow through.

Now if anyone has caused pain…  For such a one, this punishment by the majority is enough, so you should rather turn to forgive and comfort him, or he may be overwhelmed by excessive sorrow. So I beg you to reaffirm your love for him.”  2 Cor. 2:5,7,8

Paul is writing to the Corinthian church regarding a brother who has grieved the congregation, most likely received church discipline, and has repented.  Paul tells the church to not only forgive him, but to comfort him… and reaffirm their love for him.  What this person has been through has been hard, and feeling ostracized by the church could overwhelm him with grief.

Don’t we do this, as parents?  When our kids have a quarrel, and we mediate, we make sure they reaffirm their love for each other.  “Now give each other a hug!”  I have just about cracked up when scowly faced children say, “I forgive you,” but can barely bring themselves to touch each other.  And yet, once embraced, the tension drains from their bodies, is replaced by a genuine smile, a REAL hug, and fast friends return to play.

confirm forgiveness

It’s easy to say we forgive, but the proof is in the follow through.

Maybe it’s time for a heart to heart, a hug, and tears all around.

Maybe the proof is in doing something to serve this person who has grieved  you.

Perhaps, like our family and the church in Corinth, it is bringing him or her back into your fellowship.

What if they’re not sorry?

The grief and subsequent bitterness will eat you alive if you choose not to forgive.  In Evelyn’s words, your prayer life will become “like straw”.  And as Paul warned the Corinthians, forgive, “so that we would not be outwitted by Satan; for we are not ignorant of his designs.”

For Christ’s sake, and for yours, you still need to forgive.  Lay it at the foot of the cross.  Pray how God wants you to confirm your love. Perhaps it is as simple as sending a ‘Thinking of You’.  Or, perhaps God has another opportunity prepared for such a time as this.

What if they don’t want anything to do with you?  Then honoring their wishes in keeping your distance may be the best way to confirm your love.  Even if they never know, God will know, and He will give you His peace.

That your prayers may not be hindered: (page 40-41 of “What Happens When Women Pray):

*  Ask God to remind you of anyone whom you need to forgive.

*  Ask forgiveness for the sin of not forgiving that person.

*  Forgive that person, even if you need to ask God to enable you to do so.  He will provide you with the strength and ability.

*  Ask God for as much love as He wants you to have for the person who grieved you.

*  Ask God how He would have you to confirm your love for them.

*  Wait in silence for His answer.

*  Pray, promising God that you will do whatever He has told you.

*  Go do it!

“Lord, forgive me for holding onto grievances.  I forgive ______________ for _____________________.  Give me the heart you want me to have toward him/her.  Show me how you desire for me to confirm my love for them, and give me the strength to follow through.”

You can find the rest of the posts in this series at the end of this post.  Thanks for reading!





Treasuring These Days, & Our New Family Photo

Hello friend!

Family photos are great.  You never know what you are going to get back, and there are always these little tell tales that speak so loudly about this season in life, frozen in time.  🙂  Many thanks to Angela out at Camp Jim for taking our family staff photos and sending me this copy.  She did such a good job, and was patient with us!  I know she snapped quite a few in order to get one good one.  Camp has been busy (thankfully!) so the editing took time to get around to.

family pic, oct2017 less pixels

We posed for this in October, so it was cold.  I tend to feel the cold a little more than most, so I was grateful for the small, warm body on my lap.  😉

It was VERY windy.  So, even more cold!  But the hair… oh, it was blowing everywhere.  I was sure that we’d get pictures back and everyone’s hair would be air born, and I was glad the boys still had their hair buzzed.  Aren’t they cute?

Doesn’t my little lap warmer look like she’s just tolerating all this picture stuff?  Yeah, she was trying to lean over and play musical laps.  See the hands?  I am literally hand-cuffing her to keep her still!

The photo was taken in the back yard of the Retreat Center.  I just love the blowing leaves and warm colors of fall.  I think it’s one of my favorite family pictures, and it captures the essence of who we are (for a little while anyway).  We’ve already replaced a pair of glasses, and outgrown shoes.  In another couple months we’ll be surprised by how much the little ones have grown.  And then there’s my Angel Girl, all grown up.  Who knows how many more seasons she will be at home.  I am reminded of Mary the mother of Jesus, who scripture said, “treasured up all these things and pondered them in her heart,” and I am thankful for every day.

Time marches on, but God’s grace is ever present.  May you feel His presence this week, and treasure your own blessings, as you prepare to celebrate the Christ child.





How Putting Up the Christmas Tree Turned into a Teachable Moment

I don’t know if it was the colder temperatures and the snow that we had in early October, or something else, but my kids have been waiting impatient to get past fall and on to Christmas.

We celebrated Thanksgiving with my in-laws, enjoyed every moment, and got home late. I took Precious #4 into town with me to pick up a co-op order, and we hit a few of the Black Friday Sales.  I survived.  I hate the crowds, the lines, and the hype.  I may win the award for the shopper who spent the least $. Maybe.

When I got home, I found the other “kids” had been deep cleaning, and organizing the living room, WITHOUT BEING ASKED!!!  Wow.  They know me too well.  They knew that if they asked to put up Christmas decor, I would tell them we have to clean first.  🙂

So we have a head start, and my hubby was so surprised when he came home and realized he didn’t have to haul all those boxes up the stairs or assemble the tree.  It’s all done.  He could enjoy helping with the ornaments, read us the story of Christ’s birth, and relax!

The little one was so cute.  She’d pick up an ornament, take a sibling by the hand, and then point out the branch she wanted to place it upon.  She was having so much fun!

Decorating the tree

I had just listened to an interview on the Christian radio, where Phil Vischer explained how our Christmas tree was originally a tradition that was adopted by the Germans in the 16th century when they abandoned their pagan beliefs and came to Christ.  The tree symbolized eternal life because evergreen needles stay, and don’t die.  The branches of the tree point heavenward, and a monk later taught them about the Trinity using the three corners of the tree.  Of course, I couldn’t wait to share all this with my kids!

On to decorating…I put the star on the tree, and my oldest daughter and I were stringing lights.  We used an old string of lights and a new one, and while we were working, the old set had half the lights dimming and another problem had half the lights turning off completely!  I had to figure out how to fix the settings and get all those lights working together.  The littles were watching, and asking me, “What’s wrong with this picture?” And the thought came to me…

What if we thought of this tree as the Body of Christ, while it’s sitting in our dark living-room which represents the world?

And what if we see all these bulbs as the individuals who make up the Body?  They are shining, as Paul commanded in Philippians, illuminating the dark with the light of Christ.  They bring light to the whole room.  These small lights are pointing to the Head of our Body, who is Christ, and is represented by the star which shines brighter than all.  And isn’t that perfect since Christ is called the Bright and Morning Star?

Our Christmas star is plugged into the Power source (the outlet), just as Christ is one with His Father.  The lights strands are plugged into the star so that electricity flows to the light bulbs and powers their light, just as Christ said for us to abide in Him, so that the Holy Spirit can make our lives fruitful.

What happens when one of the light bulbs is disconnected from the strand?  The light given off by the tree is diminished considerably since other lights are hand-capped by that absence.  This is such a perfect way to illustrate 1 Corinthians 12, where Paul introduces Spiritual Gifts and explains how the whole Body suffers when one member suffers…  If we are not cooperating with God’s plan by choosing to exercise our Spiritual Gifts, we do cripple the functioning of this Church Body.  It can’t work at full capacity without our participation, which can also illustrate what happens when Believers stop meeting together as talked about in Hebrews 10, and do not join in worship and service with our brothers and sisters in Christ.

And if we are not getting along with one another?

Or we make choices that grieve the Holy Spirit, our “electricity”, who supernaturally powers us to shine?

Or if we make choices that result in ill health, whether emotional OR physical, which cause an inability to serve?

~Then we also cripple the effectiveness of the Church, since God designed us to work together in unity.  Without us, the Church cannot shine as brightly.~

Brothers and sisters, we need God, and we are also designed to need one another.

How putting up the Christmas tree turned into a teachable moment

While unplugging and re-plugging light strands, removing and replacing bulbs, and playing with the dimmer switch on these newfangled lights… my kids grasped, for a few moments, how important they are to the Church Body, and to bringing Jesus’ light to the world…. and this teachable moment is one we can refer back to throughout the year, and relive again next Christmas.

I think we have a new tree-trimming tradition. 😉


Growing Grateful, and How to Love Wounded People this Holiday Season

growing grateful

It’s November, the month we adults dedicate to Thanksgiving.

I see friends on Facebook, sharing what they’re thankful for each day, and I wish we could continue the tradition 365 days a year.  What encouragement.

I am reminded of what God has lifted me out of, and I am truly grateful.

The Back Story:

I didn’t grow up in an atmosphere of thanksgiving and praise.  Rather, the atmosphere was heavy with pessimism, and there was a critical spirit.  The adults in my family were fault finders and worry warts.

Looking back, I realize I “inherited” many anxieties.  When my folks walked away from relationship with me, it was the beginning of a season in which the Lord would allow my list of “I could never survive if……” fears to come true, one by one.  I think He knew it was the only way to get me over myself so I could lead a fruitful life… He was pruning me.

I felt like I was drowning in a tidal wave at the time.  We were new to this camp and this town.  God surrounded me with people who didn’t let me wallow in the “Woe is me’s.”  Instead they politely acknowledged what I was going through, if I even dared to share, and they simply pulled me along, even when it meant I tripped over my own feet.

It was a season in which I dared not sit with my own thoughts.  I kept myself busy, always, and the radio was always on to distract me when I wasn’t working with the children.

Then one day I was sitting in the rocking chair of our camp living room with a nursing baby in my arms.  Music turned to an interview with a pastor who had lost his voice for years and was told that recovery was impossible.  He shared about his diagnosis, having to step down from his position at his church, his depression and process.  Then he shared about how he was eventually asked to speak to his former congregation in circumstances only God could have arranged.  Of course, he had a microphone, and his church family was listening carefully to hear him as he delivered a message about miracles today.  As he spoke, his voice came back loud and strong. The radio program replayed the recording of his message, and as I listened, in his voice I could hear him being undone as he realized that the prayer he thought would never receive a “Yes” to had just been granted.  You can listen to his story, and the recording, at this address.

And then he shared with the audience– with me–how God will heal me if only I ask, but this nugget came with the warning that healing would most certainly be a long and arduous process.

I sat and cried.  I didn’t care if it was going to be hard.  I wanted it, and so I prayed right then and there, and I begged God to heal my heart.  That was the beginning.

There have been so many beautiful people and circumstances God has used along the way.  One tool was the book, Battlefield of the Mind, by Joyce Meyers.  Her book shares how what we think dictates what we believe, and therefore how we live.  Our minds are the battlefield where Satan prefers to attack us first, in an attempt to derail us.  This book opened my eyes to recognize and be able to accept the wrong thoughts and attitudes I had adopted growing up, and I was able to become more intentional to change my thought patterns.

Several years later, I read Ann Voskamp’s book, One Thousand Gifts, a Dare to Live Fully Right Where You Are.   I love this book.  I’ve lost count of how many copies I have given away.  One copy was returned to me with Ann Voskamp’s autograph!!  What joy!

In her book, Ann Voskamp shares that pivotal, heart breaking moment in her childhood which played a major role in shaping her world view and held her back from the full life God wanted her to possess.  She describes the process by which she learned to become grateful, and in sharing that with all of us, God used her powerfully.  She began a grass roots movement of precious people, recognizing God in the daily, and remembering to give thanks.  The whole book was good, but it was these 3 little words in the very last chapter that changed me: “Be the blessing…”


And I began to recognize that all my discontent was rooted in SO.MUCH.NEEDY.

This is where I tell you that I’ve been wrestling with this post all week, and every time I get to this point, I end up someplace I didn’t intend to go with it.  There’ve been no few tears, and in frustration I put the laptop away.  Last night I told God I’m okay with not writing a Thanksgiving post this year… maybe we should table it until next year when I understand better what Grateful looks like.  He ministered to my heart last night, and as I started afresh today I realized that “HERE” is where God wanted this post to be.

Wounded People

This time of year is dedicated to Thankful, but it is also a time when people gather together, and I lose track of how many times I am asked to pray for family gatherings and the interactions that will take place there.  That’s because we all need to remember this:

Grace is beautiful, but the process–this healing–is MESSY.  People are messy.

We are wounded, every one.

Wounded by sin.

We are wounded by the consequences of sin in the world, by other people’s sin… by our own sin.

The good news?  By His stripes, we are healed.  Jesus sweeps into our hearts when we invite him and he heals our sin laden souls by removing all the guilty stains.

But what about the hurt that remains as a result of all that sin?

Wounded people wound people.  It’s true, and it’s unlovely, and forgiven people still have to live with this–with each other.

Being Grateful looks like continuing to realize that we are the recipients of God’s grace, daily, allowing our hearts to remain soft and responsive to God and to others.

The alternative is to embrace the belief that we are victims, and allow our hearts to become hard and cynical.  Hardness protects us from being hurt again, but it also keeps out so much good.

But there is an in-between that so many of us fall into, at some point in our journey, and we can get stuck if we’re not careful.  Sometimes wounded people who are afraid of being hurt again haven’t learned healthy expectations.  Sometimes we look to others to fill the sucking wound we still feel when we haven’t learned how to balance grief and joy, and then we push them away when they. just. can’t.

…when other people don’t smile at us enough, reach out to us enough, invite often enough, give enough, do enough, be there often enough, and dare I say?–Be Enough.  We pull people in to try to fill our needy, and we blame and push them away when they can’t –and the wounded becomes the wounder.   We’ve all done it.  Sometimes we look to things, instead of people, to fill our wounds.  Again–healing doesn’t look like that.

Healing only happens when turn to this Jesus, who we have invited into our hearts, and invite Him into our hurts as well.  Ask him to sweep it out, even when the process is long and arduous.   We don’t get what we don’t ask for.  Jesus waits to be wanted.

“But You, O Lord, know me [and understand my devotion to You];
You see me;  And You examine the attitude of my heart toward You.”  Jeremiah 12:3 Amplified Version

Wherever you are in the process, now we pick up where we left off…

Be the blessing.  Yes, you, and me.

When You’re Wounded

Jesus wants to heal our broken places, but part of that healing involves being broken for HIM.  We only get well when we choose to start walking forward, even when it means we trip on our own feet–because we can’t make progress until we stop looking in and start looking up and out.  We must stop dwelling on our need–acknowledge it, yes, but not dwell on it– because that is when need becomes needy.

Instead, give thanks, even when you don’t feel like it.

It is good to praise the Lord
    and make music to your name, O Most High,
 proclaiming your love in the morning
    and your faithfulness at night,                                                                                                    For you make me glad by your deeds, Lord;

    I sing for joy at what your hands have done.

                                                         Psalm 92:1,2,4

Ann Voskamp encourages her readers to begin a journal to chronicle the gifts God bestows in our lives, from great to small.

It could be the song of a bird outside your window, a delicious meal, a provision, or the kindness of a stranger…

… something that made you laugh, the sunrise, or your Salvation.

There are so many blessings that God pours into our lives, and when we begin to notice and voice our appreciation, our faith grows and we believe that Jesus has our needs covered, even now, and more, so that when we look up long enough to notice the needs around us, we can pour some of that “more” out to bless others.  This is growing Grace-Full.  It’s being Grateful.

Research has proven that people who record just 3 blessings a day for 2 weeks are happier for months after.

Record 3 blessings a day for a year, and you will have journaled One Thousand Gifts.  Do that for years, as I have encouraged my children to do, and you have, well, Legacy of Epic Proportion that will bring about a transformation in the way you view everything.  As Ann Voskamp shared, it became addictive, finding all the blessings and counting them up.

God is so Good, and He Loves Us So Much.

Our church Ladies Group is learning how to pray more effectively, and this has brought us into a season of repentance.  I hear a lot of questions about whether their responses to people who have hurt them, or who they have hurt, are okay?  It’s good to evaluate.

How Do You Love the Wounded?  

I honestly can’t give you comprehensive answer, but I can think of a few words.

Be a Comforter.

Remember when we talked about MORE?  This is it.  This is when we realize that God has given us so much comfort that we have enough to share with someone else.  We learn by experience how to hold others, and God gives us supernatural ability to follow through.

Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.  For just as we share abundantly in the sufferings of Christ, so also our comfort abounds through Christ.”            2 Corinthians 1:3-5 emphasis mine

Follow Christ’s Example: don’t enter in where you aren’t invited.

Remember that you can’t fix it.  Listen if invited, being mindful of that line called gossip.  Comfort, yes, but remember only God can fix it.  Point them to Him, always.  He is the only one who can heal.  And sometimes, God plans to use the hurt to bring about His will for them. This is sacred space.   It’s important that we stay out of the way, even if that means we aren’t invited into their pain.  Even when it’s through discernment that we choose to take a step back.  Even if that means we miss being close to them while God draws them closer to Him.


Wounded people often wound others.  Remembering that helps keep us compassionate.  At the same time, remembering all that God has forgiven us helps us to remain humble enough to keep our hearts tender.

“Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness and patience.  Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you.” Colossians 3:12-13

Run to confession.

Yes, this.  If you are part of the problem, run to make it right.  Confess your sin and ask forgiveness.  This is what’s between you and them.  And then LOVE, even if they don’t extend forgiveness to you.  God forgives you and expects you to love on… this is what’s between you and the Lord.

Don’t let them wallow in it.

For real.  And yes, depending on the person, they may find it annoying that you aren’t going to sit around and feel sorry with them.  But I thank God for those people who drug me along when I was too broken to walk on my own.  Even if they trip along the way, gently urge them forward.  Invite them to joint the fun.  Pull them into your service projects.  Encourage them by occasionally praising some of those blessings in their lives.  Hopefully they will someday thank you, but even if not, enabling them to wallow is not going to help them heal.

Pray for them.

The most powerful thing you can do for them is to invite God’s will in their life.  You may not know all the off-roads God has planned for them, but you know the highways.

  • He wants them to be in a solid relationship with Him.
  • He wants to heal their hearts.
  • He wants them to obey Him.
  • He wants to use them to bless others and to point back to him.
  • He wants them to reach spiritual and emotional maturity.
  • He wants them develop Godly character,
  • He wants them to use their gifts and abilities to build and encourage the church, and to give Him Glory.

How many more can you think of?  Now, pray.

Be Grateful.

Yes, again.  It’s impossible to complain when we’re giving thanks.  And just like a negative attitude can be contagious, so can positivity.  Be the thermostat, not the thermometer.

From the bottom of my heart, I am sending you love this Thanksgiving.  Whatever your story, whatever your wound, wherever God is in your process,  let Thanksgiving become a lifestyle and not a holiday.   May you experience the boundless love and comfort of Christ in your life, and the healing that God holds for you and yours.  May you experience the wonder and fulfillment of learning to grow grateful, one day at a time.

Love hard, and be the blessing.



“And we boast in the hope of the glory of God.  Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;  perseverance, character; and character, hope.  And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.   You see, at just the right time, when we were still powerless, Christ died for the ungodly.  Very rarely will anyone die for a righteous person, though for a good person someone might possibly dare to die.  But God demonstrates his own love for us in this: While we were still sinners, Christ died for us.”  Romans 5:2-8